Lately, I’ve been struggling with bouts of insomnia.

Here is the set up:

1) Exhausted from long days and weeks at work without break.
2) Habitually wake up due to night calls.
3) Four years of waking up when the young’uns cry/have nightmares/wet the bed/etc.

Now that I’ve passed a massive deadline and actually have free time, I had a week where I couldn’t sleep. The mental cycle went like this:

1) Feel too tired to work on your projects.
2) Refuse to sleep unless you do something productive.
3) Cannot work to be productive because you are too tired.
4) Refuse to sleep because no work is being done.
5) Check the time and see an hour has passed but refuse to sleep.
6) Barely get any sleep that night because you’ve spent the night trying to work on projects but not getting anywhere.
7) Repeat step 1.

Can't sleep... Must work...

I have been thinking of taking a break, but the first immediate thing I start doing is that I attempt to write on my blog. It’s almost like my mind is refusing to just rest and regroup. So I am writing this publicly to force myself to postpone any projects until Thanksgiving – after my wife’s fashion show and when I take my first real vacation.

I’ll be back. I just have too much to say, create and do. But I know I have to call it when I’m beat. And to spend some time with my family who has missed me.

Gone Fishing!

Screenshots of DirectX 11 have recently come out and I have to ask if there really is any point in upgrading?

Tough Choice... (click for full size)

This one is a tricky one (click for full size)

You can check for your answers here at Gizmodo.

Can anyone really tell which ones above are DirectX 11 vs DirectX 10? And more importantly, is the difference really worth new hardware?

Personally, I think that the hardware wars are coming to a close. If the screenshots above are any indications, we are well past the point of diminishing returns and everyone knows it because we cannot sustain a 2-3 year period of obsolescence in gaming technology.

And with the rising cost of game development going up and developers barely breaking even with every technological leap, only a bare handful of games are going to be using the latest technology.

The opportunity is just right for indie game developers to take the industry by storm. People aren’t looking for better graphics, but new and inventive ways of using the existing technology.

Can you imagine living in a time without cell phones, internet, computers, when it would take weeks to receive mail and months before hearing news updates?  Imagine that a single issue of the New York Times contains more information than what could have possibly been learned by the average person in the 15th century.  Yet, the very word “boredom” doesn’t appear in the English language until 1852.

Could it be that no one knew what boredom was until the modern age?

Work it!

One of the major changes happening in the middle of the 19th century was the second wave of the Industrial Revolution.  The world was seeing massive advances in technology resulting in faster means of production, communication, travel and convenience.  This freed up many middle class people and introduced to them a novelty only the rich and powerful had – leisure time.  For the first time for many people in the new age of  Industrialism, there was a time in the day that was not dedicated to work or to prayer – but a time solely dedicated to personal enjoyment.  And yet, this is the same era that words like the French “ennui” and the English “boredom” are introduced into the common language.

It would seem like innovations such as the telephone, television, and personal computing would relieve this existential anxiety, but in many ways, it has made it worse.  And even the creation of cellular technology and the wireless Internet where absolutely anything and anyone can be reached with a touch of a button, has not made anyone more at ease.  In fact, you could argue that people are a lot worse and don’t even stop to wonder why.

Part of the problem lies in the difference between a consumer and a creator.

When I was a young boy, I repeated a line I heard on a TV show to my mother. “I’m bored,” I said. My mother took a moment, looked at me and replied with much love, “The only people who get bored are boring people.” I didn’t quite understand what she was trying to tell me, so she underscored the point, “A person only becomes bored because they aren’t creative. Do you want to be a boring person?” I quickly said, “No!” “So, find something to do.” And that was the last day I was ever bored.

People today are trained to be consumers. People consume music, television shows and games at a voracious pace. And when music starts to sound repetitive, television starts rehashing old plot line, or games start to lose their novelty, people sometimes get anxious and even angry that they aren’t entertained – as if it was someone else’s fault that they cannot stave off the boredom. And as much as reading is better than television, even books are a consumer medium as well.

You know you want to buy some hot Vampire Love!

Perhaps now that everyone has a lot less money to throw around, it may be a good time to look at your hobbies and ask yourself, “Do I have a hobby that actually creates something – rather than consumes something that someone else makes?”

Speaking of creative hobbies…

I have completed all my freelancing work and probably won’t have anything lined up for the rest of the fall into next year.  My wife’s business is off and running, but we are holding off on an actual web page until a later date.  Her current focus is creating some dresses and modeling at a Steampunk/Victorian fashion show in November.  She is busy completing her pieces.  After that, she will start focusing more on the web page and I am more than happy to start getting her business off the ground.

So in the meantime… I can get a Flash Game done between now and Thanksgiving.  Hoo-rah!