If you are seeking an education in how to illustrate, draw and render artwork like the great masters, the place not to go is to college. Academic colleges of art do not teach people how to draw. They do teach art history, color theory and composition, but if you are interested in going to art school to learn how to illustrate and draw characters, going to an atelier is ideal.

But even then, art is like computer programming – it is a technical field. It is all about directed practice and skill – not about getting A’s by parroting a professor’s philosophy or appealing to their aesthetic sense.

One of my favorite 3D artists is Monty Oum. In his interview with Screw Attack, Monty Oum admitted that he never went to college, and is in fact a high school dropout. He doesn’t endorse the path he took, however, it is impossible to argue with his talent.

After he created “Haloid”, he got enough publicity and attention that he was recruited by Midway. At Midway, in his spare time, he created the “Dead Fantasy” series and later landed a job at Konami. He is arguably one of the most talented 3D artists in the industry.

I'll just hang around for a while.

A friend of mine read my post and commented about my “slothfulness.”  He said, “If YOU are slothful, what the heck does that say about the rest of us??”  I wanted to give a more elaborate answer, especially if there are others who are thinking the same thing.

I am a naturally lazy person who likes to talk big and do nothing.  I don’t like to work.

For me, it took a tremendous amount of energy to build up the inertia so that I would complete my game “Strike Eagle.”  There were many moments where I felt like bailing before crossing the finish line.

There are many other people who simply get things done because it is natural to them. These people talk less but get things done.  That is something that amazes from my wife and is one of the things that I have actively sought to learn from her and attain in almost 5 years of marriage.

Just recently, I cleared out my library of books to make more room for my wife to work on her projects.  I removed over a dozen game programming books that I’ve kept over the last 10 years.  Each one representing yet another excuse and another reason why I just can’t create a game and another $50 wasted.

I like making excuses on why I can’t get things done.  I love talking about games.  I love designing them on paper.  But building it?  Well… I don’t have the books, the smarts, or the time to get it done.

Yes…  I am a sloth.

It took quite a bit of life events and circumstances to realize I was just making an excuse for my own laziness.  Among them was meeting and being inspired by another indie programmer who has a lot of his own tenacity and courage, and seeing the small company of 3-4 developers who I worked for bought out by a mega-corporation because the mega-corp could not compete.  But mostly it comes from my wife who said, “If we are going to do this, then let’s do it and not look back.”

This blog is made to help me conquer my own slothfulness by putting my struggles and procrastination out in public so others can see how long it takes for me to move on my own words.

But also, in a way, I hope that others can learn from my mistakes.

So, yes, I am a sloth.  But with God’s help and by all the people that have crossed my path and continue to do including through my blog…  Maybe I can become something more.

Now, the development pace of this next game is going to be much slower and more deliberate.  My wife has specifically asked me to slow my pace because I am approaching burnout; my job’s workload has been chaotic and increasing.  And on top of which, I stand to be on-call for late-night server emergencies as well as taking care of a toddler who still doesn’t sleep through the night.

As a side note, I wanted to thank a number of posters who have been supportive and encouraged by my show of tenacity.  I want it known that I fully admit that I am a very slothful person.  And I have been rather disappointed and discouraged by the number of mistakes I made – among which was pursuing a contest and not seeking a sponsor and the poor returns I’ve gotten on the game because of my rushed game design that focused on 3D rather than on gameplay.

I would not have gotten as far as I’ve gotten had it not been for my wife inspiring me.  Even now she is encouraging me to push on.  I am already started feeling the symptoms of fatigue, and I put my trust in my wife on how to keep long-term tenacity.  She was, after all, a competitive long-distance and marathon runner.

But I wanted to make a separate post to all those who have been posting and encouraging me along the way.  It also helps to know that there are those out there who are watching and rooting for me.  And you stand as witnesses to what I have resolved to do.

Now onto Game #2!